He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
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