Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
