im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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