So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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