kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize