I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
