Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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