I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
