everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
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