singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
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