We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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