She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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