I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Randomize
