does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
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I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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