This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
