I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
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he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
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