Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
