fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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