Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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