its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
what the fuck happened to the tacos
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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