My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
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We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
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I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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