i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
high people should be assigned attendants
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
