So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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