Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
