Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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