She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
