everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
You're like the curious george of whores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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