I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
