also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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