If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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