Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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