escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
there is glitter all over my balls
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
