i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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