Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
