I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
