This girl is more easily done than said...
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
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