he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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