I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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