Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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