I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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