How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize