Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(585): View more from New York

i'm signing you up for texting rehab

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(860): View more from Connecticut

do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?

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(407): View more from Florida

We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."

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(716): View more from New York

Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key

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(201): View more from New Jersey

I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?

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(310): View more from California

OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?

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(404): View more from Georgia

I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.

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(785): View more from Kansas

A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.

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