Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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