if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
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Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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