the condom got lost in my hair
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
