Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize