just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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