i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
