Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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