Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
