Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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