Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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