Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize