Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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