Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
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