I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
