On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Where is the hickey?
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
