walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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