but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
