so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
